Living the High (Anxiety) Life

Hi blogworms!

Sorry to anyone actually reading this that I’ve sucked so hard at posting regularly. There has been a lot going on, but things are (hopefully!) calming down, so I should be posting more often now.

To be honest, part of the problem is that I’ve just been feeling quite sad and anxious lately. I got a new part-time job as a receptionist, and I was hoping that I could work there and at Macy’s, which would have hugely helped with my finances. Unfortunately, the schedules refused to work together, so I had to quit Macy’s. Then, my mom came to visit. Of course, that was the one week they needed me to work full-time. It was a fun visit, but I feel like I hardly saw her. Then, to top it all off, one of the kittehs developed a partial urinary blockage. Thankfully, he got better without an expensive procedure and we have switched his food so it hopefully won’t happen again.

All of this is to say that part of the reason I haven’t been posting is because I don’t want this blog to be me whining about my life. My problems pale in comparison to many people’s despite sometimes feeling overwhelming. Some days, I feel like my life is completely off track. My train has been derailed into quicksand.

Things are getting better though, and I’m trying really hard to be positive. I’ve been repeating a phrase one of my college professors used frequently over and over to myself.

“Everything is trivial in hindsight”

She didn’t mean this to be life advice. It was a math class that focused entirely on proof writing, which, to put it very simply, is writing directions from point A to point B. Often when we got stuck, we would go to the professor for help. I (and many of my classmates) would get really frustrated we she gave us hints and the pieces still wouldn’t click. When we got to the “I’m such an idiot! This should be easy. Why can’t I figure this out?!” point, she would calmly say “Everything is trivial in hindsight.” The point she was trying to make is that she knew the hint was helpful because she already knew the answer. Since the question was new to us there was no reason to expect it to make sense immediately.

Lately, I’ve been trying to apply this advice to the way I view my life. Things aren’t going the way I want, and I have no idea where I’m headed. That doesn’t mean it won’t all work out. Stressing out about not being where I’m supposed to be and not knowing how I’ll get there won’t fix things. Enjoying my life now and working toward the things I want will. The only guaranteed way to fail is to worry so much about how I haven’t succeeded that I stop even trying.

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